The Message Within
by WhiteFerrets
Summary: Remus and Sirius didn't know the message within those subtle signs of affection, but deep down, they knew it meant something. Remus/Sirius. Slash. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own HP. If I did, Remus/Sirius would be canon and Remus/Tonks wouldn't exist.  
A/N: I found a list of alleged meanings for every sign of affection you could think of, so I chose my favourites from the list and made this. This has taken me months to write. I wrote the first two moments at the beginning of the year, and then I didn't touch it again until last weekend, at which point I finished it. Enjoy!**  
**Warning: Slash. **

* * *

**Fourth Year – May.**_  
I hope we're together forever._

Remus couldn't believe it, couldn't believe he'd hurt Peter. But his Animagus form was so small, it was inevitable, really. It didn't make the pain, the guilt, in his chest any easier. He curled into a ball on his bed, ignorant of the still-bleeding gashes on his body. He couldn't stand it, knowing that he'd almost killed a friend. It didn't matter if he wasn't in control of his body, if his werewolf form hadn't meant to do it – it still happened, and he couldn't erase that. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he hid his head in his lap, arms wrapped tightly around his knees. He sobbed tears of guilt, of shame, of anger.

Someone put their arms around him and he jumped, startled, looking up into the worried eyes of Sirius Black. Remus' face crumpled and he hid it in his lap again as a fresh wave of tears leaked from his eyes. Sirius held him, one hand moving Remus' head to his shoulder and the other wrapping around his legs. Remus cried into Sirius's shoulder, soaking his robes with tears.

And Sirius sat there silently, letting him. As he heard the sobs quieten, he ran his hands through Remus' hair. The sobs were only whimpers now, though the tears kept falling. Remus moved away and looked at Sirius sadly.

"I'm sorry," he sniffed, looking away, another wave of tears taking control. Except for short, sharp gasps of breath, no sound escaped Remus' lips. Sirius reached a hand up and used his thumb to wipe away Remus' tears.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Remus. It wasn't your fault, you didn't mean to do it. Moony didn't meant to do it – it was an accident; they happen."

"I just … it's not fair … Peter, he's done nothing wrong and-" But he couldn't continue. His breaths became hysteric, which turned into loud sobs, and he was in Sirius' arms again. Sirius made a shushing noise and, brushing Remus' hair back, he pressed his lips against his forehead. He left them there for a few seconds before pulling away, cradling Remus' body as Remus continued to cry.

Despite the sadness of the moment, Remus wanted it to last forever, sat in that position, Sirius' lips against his forehead. He never wanted Sirius to leave.

* * *

**Fifth Year – January.**_  
I want you._

Remus sat on the red sofa of the Gryffindor Common Room, on the end seat. His legs were stretched onto the foot rest, crossed at the ankles. Sirius sat sideways, taking up the other half of the end seat, leaning against the armrest. His legs were over Remus', bent at the knee so his heels pressed against Remus' left thigh. It was late and, except for the Marauders, all of the other Gryffindors had retreated to bed. James lounged on the armchair next to the fireplace, one leg over the arm chair and the other on the floor. Peter, meanwhile, occupied the carpet, laying on his stomach with his ankles crossed in the air.

Remus read out loud from a textbook while Peter scribbled down the important bits furiously, James and Sirius sometimes commenting on what Remus read. They were studying in their own way, as tests were coming up soon. It was late, they were tired, but still, they persisted.

Well, until …

"Mmph. I'm tired, Remus," Sirius moaned, slouching forward to rest his head on Remus' shoulder. "Can't we all just go upstairs and _sleep_?"

"Don't be silly, Pads, we need to study."

"But, Moony-"

"Sorry, Remus, what was that last sentence?" Peter asked, the tip of his quill in his mouth as he stared, frowning, down at his notes. Remus repeated the last sentence he'd read out.

Sirius inhaled through his nose, loving the smell that filled his nostrils. It smelt of chocolate and old books, with a tint of the subtle hint of Remus' aftershave. It was a musty, lovely smell. Sirius loved it so much. He let an arm fall forward, across Remus' lap, his fingers loosely brushing against Remus' hip. Sirius smiled and closed his eyes, sighing.

"Come on, Sirius, don't sleep – we need your witty comments to keep us amused," Remus joked, nudging his shoulder up in attempt to push Sirius' head up. He failed and Sirius snuggled further into him.

"Use Prongs," he grunted, inhaling more of Remus' smell. He heard Remus sigh, before reading more out to Peter.

Sirius kissed Remus' shoulder, right at the crook of his neck and felt Remus shiver at the touch. Sirius smiled and whispered inaudibly, "I want you," before falling asleep.

* * *

**Sixth Year – October.**_  
Tell me you love me._

The boys sat in their dorm room, all sitting on Remus' bed. James and Peter shared the foot of the bed, side by side. Remus and Sirius shared the head, Remus sitting sideways and leaning against Sirius. All the boys had their legs bent at the knee, and various books in their laps. For James, it was a Quidditch magazine; Peter, a Muggle fiction book; Sirius, a Muggle Studies book; and Remus, a thick tome on how to avoid and defend yourself from the Dark Arts.

However, Sirius quickly grew bored of his book – he was only reading it so he could annoy his family with Muggle terminology, but truthfully, he didn't care about a fellytone or a wicromave. He put it down next to Remus and tried to make conversation, only to be shushed by each and every one of his best friends. He sighed and fidgeted a bit, getting comfy. Remus fell into his lap with a squeak, which earned a chuckle from the two boys opposite them.

Remus glared at Sirius. "What was that for?"

"I didn't mean to," Sirius said, grinning down at Remus innocently.

Remus crossed his arms across his chest, over his book, and huffed, continuing to glare at Sirius but not making any movement to get up. Sirius twisted Remus' hair around his finger, still grinning down at him.

"Forgive me?" he asked, playing with a different strand of hair.

"Hmph."

He pouted and tugged on another piece of Remus' hair. "Please? Come on, don't you love me?"

"Hmph."

Remus sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed, re-opening his book. Sirius pouted again and poked Remus' arm until he looked up. "You didn't answer my question."

"You made me lose my place," Remus shot back.

Sirius sighed and gave up, glaring and sticking his tongue at James and Peter, who sat sniggering at the end of the bed. Remus watched the whole affair from behind his tome, looking at Sirius the entire time. He looked down at the book as Sirius looked his way and flicked the page, despite not having read the one he was on.

_I could never not love you, Padfoot_.

* * *

**Sixth Year – February.**_  
I love you too much to let you go._

Remus sat on the floor beside his bed, dozens of open books littering the area around him. He scribbled away on a piece of parchment, reaching out to flick a page from one of the various tomes around him every now and then.

The door opened and a scared, "Moony," left a boy's lips.

Remus looked up in surprise to see a frightened Sirius standing at the doorway and he rose to his feet instantly, walking quickly over to his best friend. "Hey, Padfoot, what's wrong?" he asked, arms draping around either side of Sirius' waist.

"I had to come to you. If I tried telling Prongs, he wouldn't take me seriously, and Wormtail would freak out and … you're the only person who I feel comfortable telling." This news made Remus' heart flutter but he squashed it down and pulled Sirius along to his bed, sitting him down at the edge and taking the place next to him, never taking his arms from around Sirius.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked.

"I think I'm gay," Sirius blurted, looking at Remus with big eyes. Remus' heart did another flip, but he fought against it and tightened his hold on Sirius. "I mean, at first, when I felt ..."

"Attracted to a bloke?"

"Yeah, when I – that – I didn't think much about it, you know? I just … liked him. And then today, I realised that I'm not _supposed _to like blokes, and that must mean I'm gay and if I am then I'm going to be disowned by my family in a heartbeat and … and … you guys will act really awkward around me and I-"

"Sh, Padfoot, calm down. Nothing's going to change between us. We're the Marauders, nothing can come between us."

Sirius sniffed. "You're right. But, I just freaked out. I mean, I've always been the ladies man, haven't I? I've always been the one girl's practically swooned over. And now … now it's all changed."

"Girls still swoon over you."

"Yeah, but I don't _notice _it like I used to. I'm scared, Moony."

Remus pulled him closer, as if possible, and rested his head on Sirius' shoulder. "It'll be alright, Padfoot." A silence settled between them. A peaceful silence, one that doesn't want to be broken. But, nonetheless, after a few minutes, Remus broke it. He spoke quietly. "I know what it's like – the fear, the confusion."

"What?"

"I've been there, done that. It's scary, isn't it? When you find out you're gay?"

Sirius pulled back from the hug but Remus kept a firm grip on his waist, not ready to let go. "A-are you saying that you-you're … you're ..."

"Yeah, Padfoot, I'm gay."

"Why didn't you ever tell us?"

"I was afraid," Remus said, looking at the floor. "I was afraid that you wouldn't want to hang around with me any more. I mean, it's bad enough that I turn into a man-eating monster once a month, but being homosexual, too … I thought it might scare you guys away. I'm not as brave as you, Sirius."

"Wow."

"Oh, come on, I don't know why you're so surprised. A guy as willing to cuddle as me can't be anything _but _gay," Remus said, trying to lighten the situation. Sirius smiled at the joke, but didn't laugh. Remus tightened his hold on Sirius as they sat in silence, loving it too much to let go.

* * *

**Seventh Year – March.**_  
I love you._

Remus and Sirius sat on their own at a table in the quiet Hogs Head. James finally managed to snag a date with Lily, and Peter had a girlfriend of his own. And so while their friends snogged and flirted and explored Hogsmeade, Remus and Sirius sat awkwardly in a run-down pub with little to do.

Leaning back on the back two legs of his stool, Remus asked, "Ever kissed a guy?"

Sirius eyebrows raised over the top of his drink, and he shook his head. Setting his drink down on the table, he shot back, "Have you?"

Remus shook his head as well, and Sirius couldn't fight back the smile that broke onto his face. "Why'd you ask?"

"Because … because I'm scared I'm going to screw up if I ever do kiss a guy, and I needed some comfort in knowing that I won't be the only one," Remus said, smiling shyly.

"Oh, gee, thanks. But, seriously Moony, how different can kissing blokes be from kissing girls? It's the same process – lips on lips, maybe a bit of tongues-"

"I don't need a visual, Padfoot. And I've heard it's very different."

"Yup, of course you have," Sirius said doubtfully, smirking.

Remus swung back onto all four legs of the stool and shuffled sideways slightly, closer to Sirius. It wasn't an obvious movement, he only moved a couple of inches, but Remus couldn't help himself. He couldn't help it if Sirius was deliciously yummy, he couldn't help it if talking about kissing guys made him want to snog Sirius senseless, he couldn't help it if he was attracted to his best friend. It wasn't his fault that Cupid had crude sense of humour.

Remus looked down at his hands in his lap. "But, seriously, Pads, I am actually worried... what if I screw up big time and lose the guy I'm with?"

"Well, if the guy leaves you because you're a rubbish kisser, then he's not worth your time, mate," Sirius said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But, Padfoot-"

"No buts. You _will_ be a good kisser, Remus, even if I have to teach you myself to make you one." Sirius seemed to realise what he'd said a little too late.

Remus blushed, wide-eyed as he stuttered like a fool. "Did- did you just … did you just suggest that we- we...?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, biting on his lip nervously. "We don't have to, you know, if you don't want to... it was just … just a, uhm, a suggestion."

"I … I want to."

Sirius shuffled closer, as did Remus, until they were touching at the shoulders. Remus turned sideways as Sirius began to lean forward. Their eyes fluttered closed, and their lips met. They sat awkwardly for a moment, singing on the inside with glee, before Sirius slowly started moving his lips into a kiss. Remus got the idea and parroted. A hand came up to Sirius' cheek as Sirius raised a hand to put around Remus' neck. The other hand landed on Remus' thigh and Remus wrapped it in his.

"I love you," Sirius sighed into the kiss, which was still gentle and tender.

"You too," Remus murmured, pulling Sirius closer to him. He deepened the kiss, eager for more, pressing against Sirius' mouth harder, putting a hand on the back of Sirius' head to keep it there.

When they finally broke apart, Remus hid his head in Sirius' shoulder. "How'd I do?" he asked nervously.

Stroking Remus' hair, Sirius leant against the wall and sighed, closing his eyes. "You were bloody amazing, Moony."

* * *

**Out of School – March.**_  
I'm completely comfortable with you._

Ten young adults sat around the long Weasley table, hungry for one of Molly's delicious meals. As the plates were magically transferred from the kitchen, the plump redhead in her late twenties stood and raised her wine glass. "In honour of two beautiful people who have managed one trying year as a couple. May the next year be as exciting for you as the last. Remus and Sirius!"

Everyone chorused their names and raised their glasses, clinking them with the people in their reach. As the glasses were set down, a round of clapping erupted, and Remus and Sirius grinned at each other. They all tucked into their food, even more delicious and filling than expected, reluctantly accepting more as Molly insisted. Once they'd all eaten more than they could manage, the plates were sent back to the kitchen with a flick of a wand.

"Speech!" Dorcas Meadows, a good friend of the Marauders', yelled. The rest of the adults agreed and, laughing, Sirius rose and rubbed his stomach.

"Well, Molly, I have to say I won't be eating again for another week. Thanks for the delicious dinner. And thanks to all of you for being here, and accepting us for who we are. It's not every day you find such a large group of people who are so supportive about homosexuality. We really appreciate it."

Remus stood, too, and took Sirius's hand. The girls shared soft looks with each other at the simple display of affection. "Really, we do. Me, even more so. When I first went to Hogwarts, I was terrified of people finding out about my being a werewolf. I thought people would be disgusted, that my friends would leave me. But you didn't. As the years went on, and you all gradually found out, not a single one of your turned your nose up or walked away. With this-" He lifted his and Sirius's hands. "-I expected the worst reactions, too, but yet again, you accepted it with open arms. Words can't express how lucky I am to know you guys, to be friends with people so wonderful and accepting it. Thank you so much."

Applause took over, thundering claps and cheers of congratulations. Remus and Sirius grinned and held onto each other's hand tighter.

"Kiss!" Alice Longbottom squealed as the claps started to decrease. Lily, Dorcas and Molly squealed in agreement. Sirius didn't hesitate. His hand rested on the back of Remus's neck as he leant forward and closed his eyes, pressing his lips against Remus's softly. Remus responded instantly, moving his lips against Sirius's, wrapping his arms around the other boy's waist.

The girls squealed and cooed, the men cheered and clapped …

"Ah, Merlin, get a room!"

… except for James, that is. He'd always had a thing about watching his brother and friend kiss, and telling them to get a room had always been an ongoing joke between the three of them for the past year.

Sirius snorted into the kiss, which started Remus off, giggling against Sirius's lips. Their bodies shook with silent laughter as they tried to keep the kiss going, but it got too much for them eventually and the laughter took over. They separated, laughing loudly, leaning on each other to keep themselves upright.

"Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

"Love you, too, Moony."

And they meant it. Still chuckling, they kissed again, and this time, the kiss overpowered their amusement.

* * *

**Word Count: 3,160.**

**Meanings in order of appearance:  
Kiss on forehead - I hope we're together forever.  
Kiss on shoulder - I want you.  
Playing with hair - Tell me you love me.  
Arms around the waist - I love you too much to let go.  
Kiss on the lips - I love you.  
Laughing while kissing - I'm completely comfortable with you.**

**_Every time you don't leave a review, a werewolf gets tortured for what s/he is. Review and save a werewolf!_  
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